Manager to the guy in the cube beside me: So Alan, can you come work on this other project for a few months? [in a stage whisper] Unfortunately you’ll have to work with Lesley again.
Alan: [also stage whispering] Oh man, well, that would be pretty awful. I don’t know.
[they both look over at me. I am oblivious.]
Manager: … does she have her headphones on? Lesley?
Manager: You’re missing the jokes and teasing!
Me: Dude, I am deaf to insults and teasing at this point. Unless you insult my hair. Insult my hair and trust me I’ll be paying attention.
Manager: Your hair actually looks quite nice today.
Me: I know. I’m amazing. [goes back to work]