I just saw a co-worker, and he has his hair all buzzed off. I said “Oh, you got a hair cut.” And he’s like “Yes, it was getting so long, I couldn’t stand it. I feel like I’ve lost 10 pounds” and I was like “Dude, cry me a river.” And he was like “You’re making the choice to keep that much hair” and I was like “Yes and no. It was more or less a condition of marriage.” and he was like “…. What?” and I was like “I agreed to keep my hair long and he agreed to never grow facial hair. It was a sort of gentleman’s agreement.” And he was like this:
I then added “I also have pretty magnificent hair, so for me to cut it off is a crime against humanity. Also, I look like a cabbage patch kid with short hair.” And he was like “HA! I get the reference!” and walked away.